24th December 2009

A Chaplain’s Christmas Diary

 

Saturday 19^th December

 

These things always seem a good idea at the time.  So when a friend asked me if I would conduct her wedding back in the U.K. I was more than happy to say “yes”.  I have known her since she was knee height, and she had often stayed with us when her parents were away.  The fact that it was Christmas week didn’t enter into my thinking, and I was going to get there come hell or high water.  Of course that was all before the airlines started pulling their flights.  There were no flights into Birmingham or Manchester and there is the smell of death around as Easyjet prepares to pull out of East Midlands Airport.  But yes, it could be done.  Wedding at 1.00 pm, flight at 4.30 pm.  So after plighting their troth, it was a quick drink to toast their health and a mad dash for the flight back to Palma. 

 

Isn’t it annoying when you have rushed like mad to get to the airport on time and then arrive to discover that the flight is delayed?  I could probably have gulped down the starter and made reasonable inroads into the main course at the wedding reception if only I’d known.  But wait … after some delay and much foot stamping, not in anger but to keep warm, we were on our way and airborne over France …..when the pilot informed us that there was a technical fault on the plane and we would have to turn round and go back to Luton Airport.  I thought that was going to necessitate everyone getting off, hanging around, moving luggage and then getting on to a new plane.  No such thing, it was simply a replacement part that was needed and the whole thing was done in just forty-five minutes, yet we were stuck there a further hour because someone insisted on getting off the plane and that meant locating luggage, checking security and getting a car to come out to the aircraft and pick her up.  I crept into bed in the early hours of the morning.  Actually I was glad I had said “yes”, and I rather suspect if I had not gone I would have sat on my butt all day regretting it….she looked lovely.

 

Sunday 19^th December

 

Yesterday’s mad dash back to the U.K. meant that I wasn’t altogether on the ball this morning for our Christmas Carol Service.  Fortunately all the service sheets had been printed and the choir and readers knew what they were doing.  For my part, there was a certain amount of getting through it by the seat of my pants, which is usually ok, but then I was reminded of what my old college tutor used to say: “those who sail by the seat of their pants, occasionally get their bottom burnt”.  Afterwards, we all gathered on the patio for hot mulled wine and mince pies and, as far as I am aware, no one could smell the whiff of burnt flesh.  So I consoled myself with another well known phrase or saying: “it’s not what you do, it how you do it that’s important”.

 

Monday 21^st December

 

Hubert and Clea were married on Majorca.  Since then they have had a new baby daughter, and on Christmas Eve we are having a naming and thanksgiving ceremony at Cala d’Or church.  This morning we printed out the service sheets and I incorporated part of an interesting ceremony that Shropshire County Council now offers as part of their services at the Shropshire Shire Hall.  Alongside civil marriages, civil partnerships, they now offer a civil naming ceremony.  The introduction on their literature says: “We work very hard to personalise the ceremony to ensure that you get something that is meaningful and personal.  We are happy to change around the wording if there are things you would like said or included, and we can tailor it around birthdays and include mention of absent guests.  In short we can include anything that you want for the ceremony providing it is not religious in any way.”  So I’m hoping that there is no copyright on the ceremony, though I have to admit I have imported some Christian prayers and blessings for the occasion to add to the ceremony.

 

I’m sure it will be a lovely occasion. Babies will be very much on people’s minds on Christmas Eve and it all seems very appropriate.

 

Tuesday 22^nd December

 

There are only three reasons why a man would be in the women’s underwear department in El Corte Ingles.  He’s lost, he’s the store manager or he has a rather interesting job in the local gay bar.  Yet come Christmas and men raise themselves to their full height and walk boldly between the bras and the basques looking for an interesting little number for their mistresses and girlfriends or even occasionally their wives.  Not to put too fine a point on it, I have given up this annual pilgrimage.  For years I tried to select just the right little number but invariably before New Year’s Day it was being returned to the store together with the receipt for the cash equivalent. 

Why is it that we men can never get it right? It’s either the colour, the size, the material or the fantasy which we get wrong.  It’s that look of absolute scorn as the aforesaid item of clothing, minimalist as it may be, is held up twixt thumb and forefinger and held out as though it was a rotten stinking kipper.  Yup, I’ve given up on all of that, been there, done that and remember the withering look only too well.  Now it’s a case of playing safe with a pair of woollen gloves or knitted scarf.  They still don’t get used but at least we don’t have the tantrums and the disdain when they are unwrapped.  As wife is in England this Christmas and I am ‘home alone’, my Christmas shopping can be done in the duty free area at Palma Airport on Boxing Day morning on my way home. 

However, this year I must make sure that I have my reading glasses with me.  Last year, sans glasses, I inadvertently chose what I thought was a rather expensive looking but, more importantly, economically priced bottle of perfume which, when the girl asked if I would like it wrapping, I enthusiastically said “yes” as it was for my wife.  She gave me what can only be described as a sad, withering look and explained it was aftershave.  I asked her to choose something for me.  The problem was she didn’t seem to have a care or regard for the little white label on the shelf with the price on it.  Ah well it’s only Christmas once a year and it is the wife after all!

 

Wednesday 23^rd December

 

The Songs of Praise on BBC1 last Sunday evening came from the Holy Land.  As Aled Jones presented the programme, walking in the footsteps of Christian pilgrims to Bethlehem down the ages, he would have been unable to escape either the sight or the feeling of imprisonment.  The geography of Bethlehem, sitting as it does on a hill surrounded by other hills, means that the thirty foot high concrete wall, topped by watch towers which surrounds Bethlehem, is reminiscent of the Berlin Wall. It is visible everywhere along the skyline, producing for the inhabitants of Bethlehem a relentless feeling of claustrophia.  The route to Jerusalem via a checkpoint is closed to Palestinians.  They are restricted to just one entrance and exit, a military checkpoint known as “The Container”, which is where vehicles queue at the Israeli checkpoint. 

It comes as a surprise to some pilgrims that Christians and Muslims form a single community in Bethlehem.  It is perhaps the most important lesson – after the Incarnation itself – that Bethlehem can offer the world.  It is a multi-faith community in a region that needs more such examples.  Muslims and Christians have lived alongside each other for centuries and, if given the chance, will continue to do so.  Yes, Christians are leaving and escaping from Bethlehem, but they are not being squeezed out by Islam but by economic hardship as their lands are annexed by Israel and they are trapped behind a wall whose existence shames humanity. 

 

By travelling from Jerusalem into Bethlehem, turning off down Star Street and on into Manger Square, one is retracing the journey made by Joseph and Mary.  At Christmas, millions will make that same journey either in their imagination, or through songs and readings, to worship at the manger.  The symbolism of the wall will be a reminder that the Christ child came to break down all barriers so that everyone can become a citizen of Bethlehem regardless of race, colour, creed or sex.

 

Have a very Happy and Peaceful Christmas. 

 

Fr Robert Ellis is the Anglican Chaplain of Mallorca,

St Philip and St James Church,

Nunez de Balboa 6,

Son Armadans, Palma 07014

Tel: 971 737279

e-mail:anglicanpalma@gmail.com

www.anglican-mallorca.org