24th July 2009

A Chaplain’s Diary

 End July

The Staging Posts of Life

 

I have a public confession to make – it’s not quite in the same category as Presidents Clinton or Nixon, but I want you all to know that I have committed the grave sin of “plagiarism”.   Good – so I’ve got that off my chest.  If you are wondering what “plagiarism” is – according to the Oxford English Dictionary it is “reusing someone else’s work and passing it off as your own.”  Schoolboys do it all the time with essays – at least they used to in my day.

 

Well, Your Honour, it happened like this – last October, whilst I was at our Diocesan Standing Committee and Board of Finance meeting in London, I went to a concert in St. Martin in the Fields in Trafalgar Square.  Whilst I was there I picked up an excellent little leaflet called “Liturgies for Life”.  Having looked at it, I thought that with a bit of customising it would be useful to have a pile of them here in church for people to pick up because it outlines the theory of the Rites of Passage which the Anglican Church offers.  We are all on a journey through life but Christians believe that they do not travel alone.  They are called to reflect on God’s presence with them on that journey.  Where is God in relation to their life?  He is both the starting point and the ending point, the Alpha and the Omega – actually in all our rushing around between the beginning and the end, He is there too. 

 

Life is an accompanied journey, and the experience of God’s presence can be conveyed in a very real way by the Church, which is itself a pilgrim people, a people living the journey of life and faith through prayer, worship, celebration and pastoral care.

 

The church has traditionally marked the significant stages on the journey of life and faith through specific services such as Baptism, Marriage and Funerals.  The Anointing of the Sick and Extreme Unction has allowed for reflection on God’s presence in times of sickness, and the Sacrament of Reconciliation or Confession has offered the hope of forgiveness and renewal at times of difficulty in life.  Alongside and complementary to these have developed other forms of services as the church slowly recognises other staging posts. 

 

The Thanksgiving for the Birth of a Child provides for the public or private celebration of a birth or adoption of a child.  This may be a step towards Baptism or it may just stand alone as a Service of Celebration and Thanksgiving.  It replaces the old fashioned “Churching of Women”.  Recently a lady in our congregation at Cala d’Or told me that her mother in law wouldn’t allow her into the house until she had been “churched” after giving birth. Things change….

 

We are not used to growth industries in the church, but one area that we are becoming more and more involved in is a Ceremony of Thanksgiving for Marriage and the Renewal of Vows.  This tends to be used to celebrate a wedding anniversary, re-affirm marriage vows or even for some people after a time of separation or difficulty in marriage. 

 

Quite often, people ask for a Memorial Service after an earlier Funeral Service.  The Funeral Service is the end of the human journey in this world but, as grieving is a process marked by different stages, some people find a Memorial Service at a later date very helpful. 

 

Slowly we are responding to contemporary needs as well, with new and different staging posts on life’s journey.  It is increasingly recognised that there are other occasions in the life of individuals or groups when celebration, thanksgiving or sorrow might find expression in an act of worship.  Retirement, a change of work, home or family circumstances, a stillborn birth, the Registration of a Civil Partnership, a house or boat blessing, a significant birthday, are all occasions for reflection on the presence of God with us through new experiences of both joy and challenge which may find appropriate expression in the liturgy of the church.

 

The need to respond flexibly to a particular pastoral situation means that there is no standard liturgical format for such occasions.  However, the following is a guide to what might be included in such a service.   

 

Readings (scriptural or otherwise) and music (hymns, choir or solo items) are parts of Christian worship which allow us to connect our individual experiences to the wider tradition of the Church.   Such items can be chosen to reflect both the occasion and the needs and concerns of the individuals involved.  Increasingly, people are quarrying from other areas of literature as well.  Try reading Edward Lear’s “The Owl and the Pussycat” or Kahlil “The Prophet’s observations on marriage and love”.  And when it comes to music, the Georgie Insull Singers tell me that, alongside traditional hymns, couples are increasingly asking for such musical items as Westlife’s famous “You raise me up”, and even the Beatles’ “All you need is love”.  We’ve got to find God in the rapids, as well as in the still small voice, because He’s certainly there.  That’s one of the challenges facing the church in the 21^st century.  We tend to think that God simply lives in the church down the road listening to Gregorian chant and monastic plainsong.

 

Individuals or groups may wish to include a personal address or tribute.  It makes sense particularly at a Memorial Service or Funeral.  Sometimes I feel like saying to the congregation “you need to understand that I am probably the only person here who has never met the deceased”.  The personal talk can ring bells and bring the memories flooding back in a way that on occasions officiating clergy probably never can.  A symbolic action, such as the lighting of candles or the exchange of rings may allow us to reflect feelings or memories when words alone are inadequate.  The scale and setting of such a service again needs to reflect the nature of the occasion and the individuals involved.

 

The church has got to have broad horizons and creative imagination to break the mould and allow God to be seen as present at the key moments of people’s lives. 

 

 

The Church Council at the Anglican Church is committed to offering appropriate care and support to individuals during such times of change.  In particular, when individuals or groups feel it appropriate to mark a stage in life’s journey, to express thanksgiving or to reflect on a specific experience through an act of prayer and worship, the clergy are glad to discuss the form a service might take, to make suggestions as to content, and to provide practical support in arranging and conducting the service.

 

The world is a very different place to what it was ten years ago, and certainly what it was seventy years ago but it is the Lord who is leading us in the dance.  The problem is that the church has got to keep up.  We are not travelling alone, He is there every step of the journey and He is holding His hand out to us to join in the Dance of Life with Him.

 

Fr Robert Ellis is the Anglican Chaplain of Majorca

St Philip and St James Church

Nunez de Balboa 6,

Son Armadans, Palma 07014

Tel: 971 737279

E mail: anglicanpalma@gmail.com

www.anglican-mallorca.org